The Wish… (Part 1)

World means nothing without you.

I’m going to receive my first pay, after a long time. And ‘m happier when compared to the day I got my first salary at the age of 20. That day I know I will remember each and every moment along with its date- Jan 31st 1952. I did my first job as a clerk in a government office, in Mumbai-India. And I offered my first salary to the God as my mother told. After 50 years, I ‘m again awaiting my first pay but today ‘m longing to have proper meal with that money.  After straining every nerve since morning, I find it tough to stand on my 70 year old legs.  I‘m working for some construction works, as a daily wage worker. Currently standing in front of my owner’s office; which is right on the main road. There are four people in the queue ahead of me and another two behind to collect the wages. My stomach is growling with hunger. I can sense that the person behind me can listen to the noises in my stomach as he was looking at my belly and face. Not sure where I will go to have my food tonight. Wherever be it, it’s going to be a feast. I was pushed by some person on road and ‘m brought back to reality.

Since the owner is receiving continuous calls, the queue is moving slow. Seeing the people around, I realized ‘m actually overjoyed. After waiting for almost an hour in queue finally my turn has come. As though my father bought a balloon when I was a kid or I ‘m on trip to the mountains (which I like the most), happily received the pay. I wish I could share this happiness with someone. I looked at the sky and tried to find the gleaming eyes of my wife in those shining stars.

Its 8 P.M, where to go? I know I can’t head to a five star hotel with the 350 bucks that ‘m carrying. But as I looked at my tattered clothes, I felt even if I step into any decent hotel, they may as well call me to come from rear entrance to offer leftover food. I was looking at every possible hotel to have dinner. I found a vendor preparing Dosai (made out of rice and black gram batter) on a moving cart. I asked for 3 dosas and mentioned I may need more. For which the vendor said, “As many you want, provided you can pay for them all”. I noticed people having dosas sitting on the big rocks which are randomly spread at the side of the moving cart. I too joined them and had my dinner. I went back to the same slum to sleep in my cozy shed. As its cold outside, I thanked myself for buying a blanket and pair of clothes, with whatever money I had till yesterday.

During night, I dreamed about my wife. In the dream, my wife Zahra is still in her mid-forties, she looked very beautiful with her bright smile in the reflection of moon light. She was definitely happy and wishing for something looking at the sky. I can only see but couldn’t hear anything, not even I could listen to the breeze that was blowing her hair, crisscrossing her face. At the end of the dream, from her lip-movement I could make out that she said, “World means nothing without you”. I woke up suddenly from my dream. I know I can’t sleep anymore. I had to question myself why ‘m I alive in my 70s? I have neither wife nor children and not even a house. The memories of childhood, the early days after wedding, and the affection of my wife flashed in front of my eyes. But the recent floods washed away my priceless possessions, my wife and my house in which every room and every wall reflects the remembrances. May be I can re-build the house but it can never be the same, hence I dropped the idea of going back to my place. I felt there is some purpose for this living-life, as I’m driving myself to live in spite of a lacklustre routine.

Next day onwards I started working in the first shift, so I started my day quite early, at 7:00 A.M. Had my breakfast at the same moving cart and headed to work, reached the work area at 7:30 A.M. I’m involved in counting and carrying the bricks from the truck and stacking them at the construction site. I have three more people with me who are doing similar job. Out of the other three folks, a person is of my age. We instantly became friends, when we met yesterday as we had common topics to discuss, nothing personal that we shared till now. And in the afternoon he asked if I would like to visit his house for lunch. When I was hesitating a bit, he mentioned that, I can pay for my food. His wife provides food services taking money, to the workers during afternoons. I went there and had proper meal and got back to work. I worked for a few more hours and started back to home at 3:30 P.M after collecting daily wage.

My home as I said before is a small shed, which I’m sharing with two other young folks. These folks found me at the flooded area and decided to help me. I came along with them to live in this small town called Ajra which even belongs to Maharashtra.  Once I reach home, I sit and relax on a wrecked chair, watching the people on market-road from the window. I don’t know from when but I started waiting for the evenings, just to get a glimpse of Zahra in my dreams. If I don’t get sleep I feel desperate that I may miss to meet her in my dreams. More than the dream, I want to decipher those spoken-but-not-heard words of her. When I go to bed, I can feel my wife’s hand around me and touch of right leg over mine. At times, after I sleep I could listen to her whispering – “World means nothing without you”.

The routine went on. And after a month, one day my manager at work called me, asking if I would like to go to town and work. As the construction work here, is almost coming to an end and a new project is starting in Kerla- Thekkady(South India). I was skeptical to accept, but I said yes. In a weeks’ time I ‘m travelling in a bus to reach Thekkady. With the address in hand, I went on foot to find the Construction Site. The construction site is near to the Lake and I really liked it at the first site. I joined my co-workers and started working from day one. One night I noticed, I stopped dreaming about my wife after coming to this new place, which made me feel very lonely. I happened to meet a new friend here by name Ashok. Ashok is 15 years old, who was also working along with me in the construction work and goes to school in the night for his studies. Recently his parents passed away which brought him here. Though his Uncle and Aunt were ready to support, he wanted to live independently. We both were working for the same apartment’s construction and were let to stay under the roof of partially constructed flat.  At times we both go to enjoy the Lake view in the evenings after dinner and from there Ashok leaves to his night school. After he leaves, I remain gazing at the stars and trying to break the mystery of my dream.

One day in our room, I dozed off watching the stars and without closing the doors and windows. Next morning I was caught with fever. I couldn’t work for next two days. Ashok took care of me, as though ‘m his grand pa; always helping and asking me if I need something. Still I felt and very lonely. I was angry with Zahra, angry as she left me alone, angry as she doesn’t visit me anymore in my dreams, angry as I find it tough to live without her. Though I recovered from fever in two days, I had trouble in getting back to my work. After a few days, I again got a dream. But this time, I could see myself alone staring at the sky intently. I was so engrossed watching it, as I could see Zahra’s face in the Moon. She was calling me and wanted me to come along with her for a boat ride. At last I could listen to her voice, which said- “will you please come home early today?” And the clouds slowly swept the Moon due to which I woke up suddenly shouting Zahra’s name. Ashok came to me running, comforting that everything is fine.

I kept thinking about the dream until next morning. And then slowly I recalled an incident from our past. During our mid-forties, Zahra asked if I could take her on boat for a night as she always dreamed during childhood to go on a boat ride with her love, in waters, only two of them away from noises and humdrum of everyday life, gazing at the stars and to feel the happiness of timeless eternity. I was definitely not harsh but I denied her wish, as I felt it’s very fancy. Now I feel it’s a simple wish that my wife asked.

TO BE CONTINUED.. …

The Wish (Part II)

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Sigh…It’s been ages!!!

Time Flies

Its been long time I posted a blog. Initially I missed it for 3 days, as I was away from home with limited access to internet and system. Later on, don’t know why but I was disappointed and couldn’t take part in DPChallenge regularly. I was working on a short story meanwhile. Aiming to finish it by today and would love it post it here soon. M back with fresh mind and strong determination for DPChallenge. Hoping to be more regular 🙂

As I speak to my 14 years self now…

What to say?

What to say?

Heylo Divya…. Just wait for a minute. Hush.. stop yelling … can you just stop jumping as well? Why don’t you do something useful? Hey, how to grab your attention?

I know how…! Let me tell your dad.

“Hey, who are you?”

I ‘m your future.

“Why you want to speak to my father?”

As I know you will listen to him and only to him.

“Uh,ho! Don’t you know that he loves me so much that he will not scold listening to someone else’s words? He asked me to enjoy my life the way I want. By the way, playing is not a sin. In fact I gave some time to my mom to relax at home while m here playing hide and seek.”

I will bother you some other time; I know it won’t work now.

“I ‘m too tired, le me go home… Good Bye friends, see you tomorrow.”

“Mom, m back and not hungry.” I know how to ask you to feed me with some food 😉

Knock, knock. Your future here..

“Why can’t you wait, anyway I will come to you after sometime.”

Just want you to keep me in mind.

“Le me get rid of you soon”

“Daddy, I want to ask you something? When I grow up, can I be a Doc?”

“May be I want you to be engineer, like me” said Dad.

Did I actually heard that from daddy? Okay Dad, I will think about it. I ‘m very sleepy, I will go to bed now. Mom, can you please help me with blanket”

“Yes, ‘M in kitchen I will be there is a min or two.”

So, do you have some time for me now?

“Yes, what do you have in store for me?”

Listen to your father as no one knows you better than him.The only message I have with me.

P.S: Not sure why only these lines from me. But I just find them extremely apt.

Its not about "Coin-Richness"

How rich you feel today?

It's not about "Coin-Richness"

It’s not about “Coin-Richness”

Richness of life for me is how well we are celebrating our lives. It comes out of happiness. Of course, everybody has their own opinion about it. Whatever be it; brings great difference to that moment in life and you feel very special about yourselves either by offering or by attaining love of your dear ones.

Yes, I ‘m referring to that moment when you feel instant happy receiving a surprise from your dear one, that small compliment about your looks by your partner, that moment when he shows little concern for you not just when you both are together but also in front of your friends and relatives, that moment when silence speaks and seals the distance between you and your dear friend, that moment when you are remembered by your small niece, that moment when you get to meet your dear friend after a long time, that moment when you jump on road with your iPod listening to your favourite song, that moment you post your blog as a part of DPChallenege, that moment when you prepare complete meal for your mother and see the happiness in her eyes…..and many more. These are THE small moments to cherish as NO ONE can live as much as you can during these times.

How many such incidents did you offer to your dear ones today and how many did you enjoy?
At first let me recall, when my partner thanked me for the early breakfast, a lovely call from my mom, urgent call from my niece – saying she is missing me so much, shhhh.. surprise for my partner a week after for our third month wedding anniversary, I enjoyed new release by Shankar Tucker (I have to dedicate a whole blog section about how mad m about ST Sir and his team), I secretly enjoyed a tea with biscuits this morning, met Maddy last weekend visited her town.
Very often it happens we expect small things, things which can’t be asked but can be expected, mostly inexpensive, a small gesture or token of affection which gives immense satisfaction. And if more such incidents fill our lives, it becomes more interesting and enriching.

Remember to make your dear ones feel special, as if not you non one else can.

This thought of blog was triggered after listening to Jack Jhonson’s – wasting time. And I owe him a big thanks esp. for these wonderful lines:

“Oh but everybody thinks
That everybody knows
About everybody else
Nobody knows
Anything about themselves
Cause their all worried about everybody else”
Have a R.I.C.H Day!

Just another day.. but badly boring!

Image

My day was very boring. Its one of those days where I feel damn restless for no reason. I tried to work and did a lil.. Nothing interested me . not a joke, a comedy show neither a gossip with good old friend. hmm.. may be ‘m still dangling to yesterday’s confusion – Self-Conflict. Thinking I need sometime for myself pushed myself for an evening walk. Which turned out good. My pedo-meter, (my lil motivator) accompanied me for the first time this evening. It kept track my every step and showed the count 3116 steps at the end. BTW, I also tried new dish for dinner which turned out surprisingly very good. 🙂   Ahhh…Deadlines cant be extended so need to get back my work.

Though do not want my blog to turn into a personal dairy, I felt like sharing my frustrating/no-so-good day’s routine with my co-bloggers.

Hoping to come up with something better for morrow… Good morning & Day folks!

Self-conflict

Self-conflict

‘I don’t like it’, the heart whispered

‘What’s wrong with you?’ the mind roared

‘That’s not my way’ the heart fought back

Think with my help and just hold back

Yes, things are done

And the smile is gone

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

“Let me put you at ease”

Said the mind trying to please

“Feel the Happiness on your dear ones face

And accept the present with grace”

“Oh, what to do!” the heart grumbled

It said yes and it trembled

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

Thinking it has no one to save

The fragile heart made up its mind to be brave

It decided to pay deaf ear

With pasted smile on face, it was all set to go infinitely far

Now the mind was at its service

As the heart gave it no other choice

Heart at Peace

And Mind Out Of Place

Whenever the mind tried to interrupt

The push from it was too abrupt

The heart started racing fast

Busy in making choices considering its past

When the heart believed it reached the finishing end

That’s when it found the road with another bend

Heart Out Of Place

As mind tookover the Peace

                                     -D.D

Miss.Communication

Trying to loosen it.

How often the slip between the lip and cup happens to you at work with your team member? When you think its trivial matter but the other person takes it as more than trivial. You say X and the other one understands X as Y and later you realize oh that Y – no way matches with your thought of X!

Yes, it was a rough day for me at work. I ‘m occupied pretty much in the first half of my day.  And I was waiting for the it to end so that I can catch up some book or walking or something better. At strike of 6 I get a call saying –Please Hold On, some work on your way.

I have a very good team and all are good at helping one another. Unfortunately we still have some communication gap at times. It so happened I understood something and left a portion of work waiting for input. Which was correct and not and the person didn’t know what I was waiting on.

Ahh… My intention is not to bring my W.O.R.K as topic of my blog but I want to vent out my lil frustration. I like to write elaborative mails but still Miss.C can creep in. I like to talk and talk but still Miss.C can pop up. Hence I decided to have discussions – be it longer or crisp until I make the person tell what is on my mind.

Hoping for a peaceful week at work !