The Wish… (Part 1)

World means nothing without you.

I’m going to receive my first pay, after a long time. And ‘m happier when compared to the day I got my first salary at the age of 20. That day I know I will remember each and every moment along with its date- Jan 31st 1952. I did my first job as a clerk in a government office, in Mumbai-India. And I offered my first salary to the God as my mother told. After 50 years, I ‘m again awaiting my first pay but today ‘m longing to have proper meal with that money.  After straining every nerve since morning, I find it tough to stand on my 70 year old legs.  I‘m working for some construction works, as a daily wage worker. Currently standing in front of my owner’s office; which is right on the main road. There are four people in the queue ahead of me and another two behind to collect the wages. My stomach is growling with hunger. I can sense that the person behind me can listen to the noises in my stomach as he was looking at my belly and face. Not sure where I will go to have my food tonight. Wherever be it, it’s going to be a feast. I was pushed by some person on road and ‘m brought back to reality.

Since the owner is receiving continuous calls, the queue is moving slow. Seeing the people around, I realized ‘m actually overjoyed. After waiting for almost an hour in queue finally my turn has come. As though my father bought a balloon when I was a kid or I ‘m on trip to the mountains (which I like the most), happily received the pay. I wish I could share this happiness with someone. I looked at the sky and tried to find the gleaming eyes of my wife in those shining stars.

Its 8 P.M, where to go? I know I can’t head to a five star hotel with the 350 bucks that ‘m carrying. But as I looked at my tattered clothes, I felt even if I step into any decent hotel, they may as well call me to come from rear entrance to offer leftover food. I was looking at every possible hotel to have dinner. I found a vendor preparing Dosai (made out of rice and black gram batter) on a moving cart. I asked for 3 dosas and mentioned I may need more. For which the vendor said, “As many you want, provided you can pay for them all”. I noticed people having dosas sitting on the big rocks which are randomly spread at the side of the moving cart. I too joined them and had my dinner. I went back to the same slum to sleep in my cozy shed. As its cold outside, I thanked myself for buying a blanket and pair of clothes, with whatever money I had till yesterday.

During night, I dreamed about my wife. In the dream, my wife Zahra is still in her mid-forties, she looked very beautiful with her bright smile in the reflection of moon light. She was definitely happy and wishing for something looking at the sky. I can only see but couldn’t hear anything, not even I could listen to the breeze that was blowing her hair, crisscrossing her face. At the end of the dream, from her lip-movement I could make out that she said, “World means nothing without you”. I woke up suddenly from my dream. I know I can’t sleep anymore. I had to question myself why ‘m I alive in my 70s? I have neither wife nor children and not even a house. The memories of childhood, the early days after wedding, and the affection of my wife flashed in front of my eyes. But the recent floods washed away my priceless possessions, my wife and my house in which every room and every wall reflects the remembrances. May be I can re-build the house but it can never be the same, hence I dropped the idea of going back to my place. I felt there is some purpose for this living-life, as I’m driving myself to live in spite of a lacklustre routine.

Next day onwards I started working in the first shift, so I started my day quite early, at 7:00 A.M. Had my breakfast at the same moving cart and headed to work, reached the work area at 7:30 A.M. I’m involved in counting and carrying the bricks from the truck and stacking them at the construction site. I have three more people with me who are doing similar job. Out of the other three folks, a person is of my age. We instantly became friends, when we met yesterday as we had common topics to discuss, nothing personal that we shared till now. And in the afternoon he asked if I would like to visit his house for lunch. When I was hesitating a bit, he mentioned that, I can pay for my food. His wife provides food services taking money, to the workers during afternoons. I went there and had proper meal and got back to work. I worked for a few more hours and started back to home at 3:30 P.M after collecting daily wage.

My home as I said before is a small shed, which I’m sharing with two other young folks. These folks found me at the flooded area and decided to help me. I came along with them to live in this small town called Ajra which even belongs to Maharashtra.  Once I reach home, I sit and relax on a wrecked chair, watching the people on market-road from the window. I don’t know from when but I started waiting for the evenings, just to get a glimpse of Zahra in my dreams. If I don’t get sleep I feel desperate that I may miss to meet her in my dreams. More than the dream, I want to decipher those spoken-but-not-heard words of her. When I go to bed, I can feel my wife’s hand around me and touch of right leg over mine. At times, after I sleep I could listen to her whispering – “World means nothing without you”.

The routine went on. And after a month, one day my manager at work called me, asking if I would like to go to town and work. As the construction work here, is almost coming to an end and a new project is starting in Kerla- Thekkady(South India). I was skeptical to accept, but I said yes. In a weeks’ time I ‘m travelling in a bus to reach Thekkady. With the address in hand, I went on foot to find the Construction Site. The construction site is near to the Lake and I really liked it at the first site. I joined my co-workers and started working from day one. One night I noticed, I stopped dreaming about my wife after coming to this new place, which made me feel very lonely. I happened to meet a new friend here by name Ashok. Ashok is 15 years old, who was also working along with me in the construction work and goes to school in the night for his studies. Recently his parents passed away which brought him here. Though his Uncle and Aunt were ready to support, he wanted to live independently. We both were working for the same apartment’s construction and were let to stay under the roof of partially constructed flat.  At times we both go to enjoy the Lake view in the evenings after dinner and from there Ashok leaves to his night school. After he leaves, I remain gazing at the stars and trying to break the mystery of my dream.

One day in our room, I dozed off watching the stars and without closing the doors and windows. Next morning I was caught with fever. I couldn’t work for next two days. Ashok took care of me, as though ‘m his grand pa; always helping and asking me if I need something. Still I felt and very lonely. I was angry with Zahra, angry as she left me alone, angry as she doesn’t visit me anymore in my dreams, angry as I find it tough to live without her. Though I recovered from fever in two days, I had trouble in getting back to my work. After a few days, I again got a dream. But this time, I could see myself alone staring at the sky intently. I was so engrossed watching it, as I could see Zahra’s face in the Moon. She was calling me and wanted me to come along with her for a boat ride. At last I could listen to her voice, which said- “will you please come home early today?” And the clouds slowly swept the Moon due to which I woke up suddenly shouting Zahra’s name. Ashok came to me running, comforting that everything is fine.

I kept thinking about the dream until next morning. And then slowly I recalled an incident from our past. During our mid-forties, Zahra asked if I could take her on boat for a night as she always dreamed during childhood to go on a boat ride with her love, in waters, only two of them away from noises and humdrum of everyday life, gazing at the stars and to feel the happiness of timeless eternity. I was definitely not harsh but I denied her wish, as I felt it’s very fancy. Now I feel it’s a simple wish that my wife asked.

TO BE CONTINUED.. …

The Wish (Part II)

Advertisements

Self-conflict

Self-conflict

‘I don’t like it’, the heart whispered

‘What’s wrong with you?’ the mind roared

‘That’s not my way’ the heart fought back

Think with my help and just hold back

Yes, things are done

And the smile is gone

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

“Let me put you at ease”

Said the mind trying to please

“Feel the Happiness on your dear ones face

And accept the present with grace”

“Oh, what to do!” the heart grumbled

It said yes and it trembled

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

Thinking it has no one to save

The fragile heart made up its mind to be brave

It decided to pay deaf ear

With pasted smile on face, it was all set to go infinitely far

Now the mind was at its service

As the heart gave it no other choice

Heart at Peace

And Mind Out Of Place

Whenever the mind tried to interrupt

The push from it was too abrupt

The heart started racing fast

Busy in making choices considering its past

When the heart believed it reached the finishing end

That’s when it found the road with another bend

Heart Out Of Place

As mind tookover the Peace

                                     -D.D

Miss.Communication

Trying to loosen it.

How often the slip between the lip and cup happens to you at work with your team member? When you think its trivial matter but the other person takes it as more than trivial. You say X and the other one understands X as Y and later you realize oh that Y – no way matches with your thought of X!

Yes, it was a rough day for me at work. I ‘m occupied pretty much in the first half of my day.  And I was waiting for the it to end so that I can catch up some book or walking or something better. At strike of 6 I get a call saying –Please Hold On, some work on your way.

I have a very good team and all are good at helping one another. Unfortunately we still have some communication gap at times. It so happened I understood something and left a portion of work waiting for input. Which was correct and not and the person didn’t know what I was waiting on.

Ahh… My intention is not to bring my W.O.R.K as topic of my blog but I want to vent out my lil frustration. I like to write elaborative mails but still Miss.C can creep in. I like to talk and talk but still Miss.C can pop up. Hence I decided to have discussions – be it longer or crisp until I make the person tell what is on my mind.

Hoping for a peaceful week at work !

Best Friends are like –“one thinks and it strikes another..!”

I believe that friendship between best buddies happen because of the comfort level that they share along with some similar interests.

I met one such friend, a few years back while I was staying in a hostel. To be precise its in 2009-August. It was just like any other evening. I was standing in the queue with a plate in hands and waiting for my turn for the dinner to be severed.

My mate with whom I was standing whispered into my ears – ‘Look. Look at that girl’

Me- ‘The one who’s tall?’

My friend – ‘No, the one who is very fair and short. Do you know she also works in our company?’

I replied – ‘No’.

The queue was getting longer while this girl; whom my friend pointed was serving her own food and simultaneously chatting with our lady warden.  I vaguely remember, she enquired and suggested about different food items that hostel can supply. Not just me but everyone around laughed for funny explanation she gave. I just listened to her and observed what she was doing. Her plate had little of rice, and Dal all around, curry spread – some here and some there. She had bottle under her arms, a glass filled with butter milk in one hand – (which is mentioned that she will share with her roommate) and the plate in another.

‘Don’t you see how messy she is!’ My friend added. I just nodded my head…

She looked at me for some reason and winked naughtily and left running with her plate. Of course, the food along with the overflowing Dal has fallen that traced the path she went. Someone yelled at her pointing the floor and she said… ayyyaaaa – Cliché’ used by Maddy.

Yes – Her name is Maddy. She is my best buddy. I never felt she is an year younger to me. Her thoughts as beautiful as she is, she is smart, very kind, speaks only sense, grounded and she likes me so much :P. I know ‘m lucky to have a friend like Maddy. Don’t exactly remember when we became this close…*touchwood*

We share so much in common; right from pink-color-madness, shopping together, having coffee and talking about our backgrounds and every time we do; we can’t help wondering how similar we were brought up.

I remember learning many new things from her. One such good thing that I have seen and learnt from her was; how easily she gets adapted to any phase of life (*touchwood*). Her ambitions and her life taught me that one needs to be realistic to be happy. I cherish all the wonderful moments we spent together.

We meet thousands and millions of people in life, but a very few remain as the B.E.S.T part of our memories… ..

Miss you Messy Mighty Maddy!

On the day of Maddy’s Reception..!

Blah.. Blah.. that I don’t wanna believe in..

These days I keep listening

It seems only at the beginning

These phones-calls and hush talks

Memorable meetings along with Long walks

Hey! ‘M not afraid

But I wish these moments will never fade

And people also tell

Time comes when we both argue and yell

Now when I listen to your sweet voice through my ear phone

And recollect the taste of your ice cream cone

Honey, you my dear

You are sweeter than sugar

I read it books

Men go by looks

But the feeling of Pride

When you by side

Whispers in to my ears

‘You are lucky and live without fears’

BLAH BLAH….

-D.D

I write…

It’s been just three days since I started writing blogs and posting them as a part of DailyPostChallenge and I must say ‘m liking it. Right from the time I wake up I keep looking for today’s post title. Be it when I wake up in the morning saying to myself – Already morning!?, or be it when I go out of choices on what I need to cook, or be it a topic like Is skipping breakfast good?, or you prefer Work From Home or Office, Topics about life at work or a topic on upcoming festival or about your friends and relatives. Yes, ‘m craving to write about any topic under Sun provided I feel good about what ‘m writing.

So, what writing means to me?

Before I answer this question, I want to say something; I read many books, I read some for fun like Calvin & Hobbes, Ceclia Ahern’s Time Of My life and some to learn secret behind a mysterious plot – Lee Child’s 61 Hours or Girl with Dragon Tattoo, some purely for the good literature which captivates me – Orhan Pamuk’s, The museum of Innocence or Murakami – Kafka on the shore or Disgrace by JM Coetzee. Now that I tried to tell you what I usually read let me tell what type of books give me the pleasure in reading more. Yes, the ones which fall under the last lot- Literature. I like to play with words, I ‘m passionate to know how people experiment with words; I love to re-use in my way and to develop my own writing flair.

I like to write and share… Thank God ‘m a blogger I need not write anything lengthy to publish my post J.(Not that I don’t like to write a book one day).

In one of the posts today I read, written by Christian Mahi referring to link: http://cristianmihai.net/2012/10/14/struggling-artists-and-pain/. He beautifully said “Isn’t it true that we write about the things we had and lost not because of the pain we feel, but because we wish to recapture the moments of joy, to keep the flame alive long after our memories have turned to dust?”

I read this line I re-read and then again and again. Now I remember it forever. Author’s often like Chrstine inspire me to read and of course to write.

Yes, I read and write and I will continue to until my senses die and my thoughts are still alive. I write and I write… D.D

I close my eyes and ‘m there… ..

After I completed my Engineering, I entered the professional world. It started with a grueling training in Mysore. Well, not just to recollect but I also lived those days very happily. I became more independent in taking decisions in my personal life as well as work-life. The ambiance in which I was trained was real good. Most of you all know that Infosys Mysore is world’s biggest training center  which is spread across 270 acre land, the buildings raised with great pride having holistic architecture and surrounded with beautiful greenery. And no wonder we were provided with classic facilities.  But to some extent it was an extended college period for us. As during our training time, we had classes till evening and assignments to work till late in the night followed by exams in the weekends. Of course it’s only in the weekends we went around Mysore. Somehow I managed to get through those exams and I was posted to Bangalore.

Life in Bangalore was like never before. At work, I had a very cheerful and cooperative team. But the lessons thought at home didn’t work sometimes, like me standing and greeting my manager always, not telling NO to elders (almost everyone in my team is elder to me :D) and so on. It took some time to get used to the nuances of corporate world.

Like the campus in Mysore, Bangalore campus is also good at its ambiance  Bangalore office being the headquarters, constructed a long way back and the age was concealed by the strong and majestic buildings. Of course, I have my favourite spots with-in the campus. Starting from the fish pond (OMG! I can’t start my day without passing by fish pond and winking at the fishes), then my workplace (Literally I lived in that building for almost 5 years), the long stretch of road with greenery on either sides near to my building, I would love to cycle around the campus and especially the Gate1 – entrance; trust me it made me feel so royal and fortunate whenever I walked there, MC – Hall , the library, how can I forget café coffee day, Dominoz Pizza which kept us awake during the late night cutovers and go-lives, La-Terrace (a kinda food court) defines my love for desserts and that sit out adjacent to washing-machine-building.. that’s just mind blowing! And the audi’s where I strutted, performed well and not so well, I expressed and I commanded during toastmasters meetings.. wait, wait, wait.. I have to mention about this lift in B-15.. m really attached to it.. It tagged me having a button ‘D’.  Well, I remember every corner of my favorite places and really wanted to so that I can visit them just by being where I ‘m while I close my eyes.  

Not just the place but also the people influenced my life a lot and made it real better. People are never constant, just like the way folks hop on and get down from a bus. Never the less, I ‘m in touch with them. It gave me the privilege to travel abroad and also get connected to the strangers who are distinctly far off from my world. Now it makes me think – What a coincidence to work with them!

BTW, how do I forget the morning rush towards my bus stop and the people swarming at the bus bay after I just reach office..!  But for today, I won’t curse that rush – as now it became a memory for me. Yes I left my first Job. Sob sob!! 😥

 All good things come to an end. D.D