Seven Wonders

I am not in a mood for a lengthy blog, as I am also working on some short story.  And aptly, the Daily Prompt needs some crisp ideas. So here I go with my seven words. Before that let me tell you, I feel thankful for the infinite words that we have – they make reading and writing possible 😉

My Seven words that I believe, can take me to infinite wonders..

My Seven words that I believe, can take me to infinite wonders..

1. Mother
2. Thank You
3. Please
4. Contentment
5. Love
6. Goal
7. Persistence

The Golden Hour

ReadingIsBliss

ReadingIsBliss

If asked, what’s the best time that I spent so far, if not with my dear ones; I would say those times when I was reading books / occasional writing at the late night until dawn.

When it’s quite in the night, with the relief that my day has come to an end, as I sit in my room with curtains swaying to the gentle breeze, collecting my thoughts in the silence and trying to bring them alive on to my laptop screen or reading a favourite book, I can seamlessly enjoy my time. Especially if it’s a Saturday evening, it can’t get any better. During such times, I can’t enjoy with people around and noise. Be it ,everyone needs sometime for themselves.

It is true; I like to dwell in the silence of the night. I find it eternal. I forget the world while living my favourite character of the book or writing what was on my mind.  As I take halt from chasing the time and without any disruptions, I enjoy time as though it’s all mine. Weekends are meant to sleep in the morning and be wake whole night. And I like them, as it is more to do with “what I want to be in life” than “what I have to do”. As we grow older we get busier with daily chores, it’s annoying yet true.

Not always I end up with productive scripts or blogs but surely I feel satisfied.

I make time to enjoy my share of Golden Hour from time. Do you?

Breakdown … On dealing with criticism…

I don't want it

I don’t want it

I find it tough to take criticism, especially from dear ones. It takes long time to get over it. We are ready to share our deepest sorrows and of course the happiness with our dear ones but not criticism.

When a person is not meant for us much, we can pay deaf ear to him/ her( – though not immediately) when they criticize. What if the person who knows us very well, who means a lot to us, criticizes? hmmm… Mostly that means there is a correction to be done on our end but they should have chosen a gentle way to make us understand.

The truth is, our dear ones feel they have every right to correct us.  They may completely forget   that they need to be gentle while correcting us.And I wish I could understand this well when it comes to reality.. 🙂

Does love mean having total compatibility, always?

Love Compatabilty

Love Compatabilty

One of my friends and I were sitting in the last row of the bus while returning from office. We were definitely very good friends but never shared our personal matters. We just started with our usual conversation and ran through the topic of my interest in writing. She happened to share some messages that a guy was sending her. I knew they both were friends. The messages were very romantic and no wonder he is a good writer. I liked his poetry but I didn’t know how to react. Since she seemed to be positive I gave my normal response that her friend is a good writer or poet. Since then she started sharing about her friendship with that guy.

One day she simply said I wonder if he likes me the same way. I didn’t know what she meant by that, but I knew one thing, they liked each other well but did not express it yet.

And then she continued telling, “I went out against my principles for a dinner with him. We hardly spoke to each other. When I picked some topic, he did not make any comments or did not share his views but started with different topic. Somehow I felt he was indifferent towards me. At the end, he did not even ask if I need a drop though it was late in the night. He left me alone and made me feel in-secured.”

I am not the right one to judge as even now I know only side of the story. One thing I know they are still together.

The truth behind love vs compatibility in my words would be- no one said it would be easy, even when you try to step into your partners shoes, the decision which you make may not sound correct for your partner. But one good thing here, you need not have same answer or opinion always.  In reality, your mind can not be read by your partner like pre-written lyrics of love song, it involves loads of decision making. Also you both are NOT brought up under same roof. You have two different life stories having different characters and experiences, its fair if you lack compatibility to some extent.

In this world where men and women are competing equally, women are mostly left with tougher choices. (May be even men, in some cases.) So if partners have two different decisions for a situation, that is not a problem but there is a problem if you cannot find love between each other though you are not like minded.  Cribbing and criticising won’t help.  If you love your partner you will put extra efforts to understand. And if your partner loves you it will be recognized (at some point of time). Your problem doesn’t sound interesting to others as they already knew and have one. By the way, don’t use others brains to know your compatibility as your heart already knows it right.

 

Its sad but true..

Its sad, but true.. ah, who knows may be you can still choose :)

Its sad, but true.. ah, who knows may be you can still choose 🙂

I am in very cheerful mood today. The topic “It’s sad but true..” doesn’t strike a chord with me.

Today, I feel like a happy a soul with no complains. I want to really ask when I am this happy, what is hushing the voices that I am otherwise afraid of. Is it  just the mindset? Is it just because I started my day with a big smile and it’s continuing? Or is it that simple that you can freeze happiness in your smile and if you can smile you can be happy?

It’s sad but true, I have no answer for it. We don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us.

As much as we can, let’s keep smiling 🙂

Release Me… ..

Message from raindrops...

Message from raindrops…

Another evening, my mind is constantly reminded to focus on writing. These days, I am lacking words. Trying hard to write, to write about anything. Don’t know where I lost my passion to pen down my ideas or for my writing. I neither stopped looking at the freshly pressed blogs nor following my favourite bloggers.  A few really inspire me to blog but by the time I arrange to sit down with pen and a fresh book or a blank text pad file on my laptop, interest to write just flies away. I don’t feel motivated. May be I am being hard on myself, trying for something perfect.

Today it was very cloudy in the evening and couldn’t step outside as it seemed it may rain anytime. Of course, in a few minutes it started pouring. The raindrops hitting on my windowpane beckoned me to listen to them.

I looked down from my window and noticed rain drops that came shooting on to my windowpane as though crying to hear them fell uncertain and were absorbed into the ground. Like every moment in life that passes by sinks in our mind like memory.

I felt, like the clouds up above, I have to release my words too. I want them come as they wish not anything perfect and want them to take plunge into my blogs. May be like a few drops in an ocean.

Definitely I am scared that I am running out of time. Say, I could read only 5 books this year, if I am the same in the coming years I may just read around 200 books in my lifetime. Oh My God, that’s alarming as I want to read MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY books..

Thanks for the DP Challenge, the topic inspired me very much. Now no more looking back, as I want to release many blogs, as many as raindrops on a rainy day. 🙂

The Wish (Part II)

Continuation of The wish (Part I)

The Wish

I was thrilled to crack the dream but was sad that I couldn’t accomplish when Zahra was alive.

I asked Ashok where I can get a boat for a night.
“That will cost us an arm and a leg grand pa but I can help you with a cheaper one, as my uncle owns a couple of boats which you can use for a few hours daily. By the way, do you know how to row a boat?” asked Ashok.

“I would also like to learn rowing a boat, as ‘m not an expert at it. But I need a first class boat at any cost.” I said.

He understood ‘m serious about it and said “I will try to get a decent boat for a low-price. May be you can at first practice on some cheaper boat.”

Ashok sounded promising which made me happy. And the idea also worked. After coming back from work I started directly going to the lake to practice rowing. For a week, my hands ached badly, as I was straining continuously. But the more I practiced the more I felt ‘m closer to live my dream. Slowly I developed rowing grip and it became a good hobby.

One fine morning; I took a break from work and approached Ashok’s uncle to hire a boat for one complete day. In return I paid him Rs.2000, from the savings I made for the last two months. I waited for the evening at the lake, watching the Sun hung in the sky like a copper ball and steadily dipping down. When the darkness is approaching slowly, I took my boat and started my ride. In no time, the sky in the night looked as though it was wrapped in the blanket full of stars. Now I have been rowing for an hour and got to the middle of the lake where no one’s around. With boat on waters, the sky above and I; really don’t know what I’m here for but deep-down my heart I‘m waiting for a miracle to happen. I ‘m feeling cold but it’s comforting, ‘m happy but nervous, ‘m ready to wait over-night but as well desperate. May be it’s just a dream, why did I take it so seriously wasting all the money for this foolish ride. May be not, I have to wait to know.

Out of nowhere I can now see two shooting stars. Well, when ‘m here to fulfil Zahra’s wish, what I can wish for. I ‘m missing Zahra and wanting an end to this loneliness. As the shooting stars passed by, I could see two stars winking at me, as though they are the same two stars which I always dreamed about. It’s almost 12 in the night and I know I can now head back. Ashok was waiting for me at the door steps. Neither he asked something nor did I tell where I have been to. I just thanked Ashok and said I had a great time today. “You look brighter and appear a few years younger” said Ashok. Well its nothing but the effect of moon light, I chuckled. We went to sleep after talking for some time.

I slept that night happily feeling Zahrh’s hand on my stomach and her right leg on mine.
I ‘m not awaiting dream tonight, as I know our worlds are going to meet soon.

-D.D

The Wish… (Part 1)

World means nothing without you.

I’m going to receive my first pay, after a long time. And ‘m happier when compared to the day I got my first salary at the age of 20. That day I know I will remember each and every moment along with its date- Jan 31st 1952. I did my first job as a clerk in a government office, in Mumbai-India. And I offered my first salary to the God as my mother told. After 50 years, I ‘m again awaiting my first pay but today ‘m longing to have proper meal with that money.  After straining every nerve since morning, I find it tough to stand on my 70 year old legs.  I‘m working for some construction works, as a daily wage worker. Currently standing in front of my owner’s office; which is right on the main road. There are four people in the queue ahead of me and another two behind to collect the wages. My stomach is growling with hunger. I can sense that the person behind me can listen to the noises in my stomach as he was looking at my belly and face. Not sure where I will go to have my food tonight. Wherever be it, it’s going to be a feast. I was pushed by some person on road and ‘m brought back to reality.

Since the owner is receiving continuous calls, the queue is moving slow. Seeing the people around, I realized ‘m actually overjoyed. After waiting for almost an hour in queue finally my turn has come. As though my father bought a balloon when I was a kid or I ‘m on trip to the mountains (which I like the most), happily received the pay. I wish I could share this happiness with someone. I looked at the sky and tried to find the gleaming eyes of my wife in those shining stars.

Its 8 P.M, where to go? I know I can’t head to a five star hotel with the 350 bucks that ‘m carrying. But as I looked at my tattered clothes, I felt even if I step into any decent hotel, they may as well call me to come from rear entrance to offer leftover food. I was looking at every possible hotel to have dinner. I found a vendor preparing Dosai (made out of rice and black gram batter) on a moving cart. I asked for 3 dosas and mentioned I may need more. For which the vendor said, “As many you want, provided you can pay for them all”. I noticed people having dosas sitting on the big rocks which are randomly spread at the side of the moving cart. I too joined them and had my dinner. I went back to the same slum to sleep in my cozy shed. As its cold outside, I thanked myself for buying a blanket and pair of clothes, with whatever money I had till yesterday.

During night, I dreamed about my wife. In the dream, my wife Zahra is still in her mid-forties, she looked very beautiful with her bright smile in the reflection of moon light. She was definitely happy and wishing for something looking at the sky. I can only see but couldn’t hear anything, not even I could listen to the breeze that was blowing her hair, crisscrossing her face. At the end of the dream, from her lip-movement I could make out that she said, “World means nothing without you”. I woke up suddenly from my dream. I know I can’t sleep anymore. I had to question myself why ‘m I alive in my 70s? I have neither wife nor children and not even a house. The memories of childhood, the early days after wedding, and the affection of my wife flashed in front of my eyes. But the recent floods washed away my priceless possessions, my wife and my house in which every room and every wall reflects the remembrances. May be I can re-build the house but it can never be the same, hence I dropped the idea of going back to my place. I felt there is some purpose for this living-life, as I’m driving myself to live in spite of a lacklustre routine.

Next day onwards I started working in the first shift, so I started my day quite early, at 7:00 A.M. Had my breakfast at the same moving cart and headed to work, reached the work area at 7:30 A.M. I’m involved in counting and carrying the bricks from the truck and stacking them at the construction site. I have three more people with me who are doing similar job. Out of the other three folks, a person is of my age. We instantly became friends, when we met yesterday as we had common topics to discuss, nothing personal that we shared till now. And in the afternoon he asked if I would like to visit his house for lunch. When I was hesitating a bit, he mentioned that, I can pay for my food. His wife provides food services taking money, to the workers during afternoons. I went there and had proper meal and got back to work. I worked for a few more hours and started back to home at 3:30 P.M after collecting daily wage.

My home as I said before is a small shed, which I’m sharing with two other young folks. These folks found me at the flooded area and decided to help me. I came along with them to live in this small town called Ajra which even belongs to Maharashtra.  Once I reach home, I sit and relax on a wrecked chair, watching the people on market-road from the window. I don’t know from when but I started waiting for the evenings, just to get a glimpse of Zahra in my dreams. If I don’t get sleep I feel desperate that I may miss to meet her in my dreams. More than the dream, I want to decipher those spoken-but-not-heard words of her. When I go to bed, I can feel my wife’s hand around me and touch of right leg over mine. At times, after I sleep I could listen to her whispering – “World means nothing without you”.

The routine went on. And after a month, one day my manager at work called me, asking if I would like to go to town and work. As the construction work here, is almost coming to an end and a new project is starting in Kerla- Thekkady(South India). I was skeptical to accept, but I said yes. In a weeks’ time I ‘m travelling in a bus to reach Thekkady. With the address in hand, I went on foot to find the Construction Site. The construction site is near to the Lake and I really liked it at the first site. I joined my co-workers and started working from day one. One night I noticed, I stopped dreaming about my wife after coming to this new place, which made me feel very lonely. I happened to meet a new friend here by name Ashok. Ashok is 15 years old, who was also working along with me in the construction work and goes to school in the night for his studies. Recently his parents passed away which brought him here. Though his Uncle and Aunt were ready to support, he wanted to live independently. We both were working for the same apartment’s construction and were let to stay under the roof of partially constructed flat.  At times we both go to enjoy the Lake view in the evenings after dinner and from there Ashok leaves to his night school. After he leaves, I remain gazing at the stars and trying to break the mystery of my dream.

One day in our room, I dozed off watching the stars and without closing the doors and windows. Next morning I was caught with fever. I couldn’t work for next two days. Ashok took care of me, as though ‘m his grand pa; always helping and asking me if I need something. Still I felt and very lonely. I was angry with Zahra, angry as she left me alone, angry as she doesn’t visit me anymore in my dreams, angry as I find it tough to live without her. Though I recovered from fever in two days, I had trouble in getting back to my work. After a few days, I again got a dream. But this time, I could see myself alone staring at the sky intently. I was so engrossed watching it, as I could see Zahra’s face in the Moon. She was calling me and wanted me to come along with her for a boat ride. At last I could listen to her voice, which said- “will you please come home early today?” And the clouds slowly swept the Moon due to which I woke up suddenly shouting Zahra’s name. Ashok came to me running, comforting that everything is fine.

I kept thinking about the dream until next morning. And then slowly I recalled an incident from our past. During our mid-forties, Zahra asked if I could take her on boat for a night as she always dreamed during childhood to go on a boat ride with her love, in waters, only two of them away from noises and humdrum of everyday life, gazing at the stars and to feel the happiness of timeless eternity. I was definitely not harsh but I denied her wish, as I felt it’s very fancy. Now I feel it’s a simple wish that my wife asked.

TO BE CONTINUED.. …

The Wish (Part II)

Self-conflict

Self-conflict

‘I don’t like it’, the heart whispered

‘What’s wrong with you?’ the mind roared

‘That’s not my way’ the heart fought back

Think with my help and just hold back

Yes, things are done

And the smile is gone

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

“Let me put you at ease”

Said the mind trying to please

“Feel the Happiness on your dear ones face

And accept the present with grace”

“Oh, what to do!” the heart grumbled

It said yes and it trembled

Mind at peace

But Heart left its place

Thinking it has no one to save

The fragile heart made up its mind to be brave

It decided to pay deaf ear

With pasted smile on face, it was all set to go infinitely far

Now the mind was at its service

As the heart gave it no other choice

Heart at Peace

And Mind Out Of Place

Whenever the mind tried to interrupt

The push from it was too abrupt

The heart started racing fast

Busy in making choices considering its past

When the heart believed it reached the finishing end

That’s when it found the road with another bend

Heart Out Of Place

As mind tookover the Peace

                                     -D.D

Miss.Communication

Trying to loosen it.

How often the slip between the lip and cup happens to you at work with your team member? When you think its trivial matter but the other person takes it as more than trivial. You say X and the other one understands X as Y and later you realize oh that Y – no way matches with your thought of X!

Yes, it was a rough day for me at work. I ‘m occupied pretty much in the first half of my day.  And I was waiting for the it to end so that I can catch up some book or walking or something better. At strike of 6 I get a call saying –Please Hold On, some work on your way.

I have a very good team and all are good at helping one another. Unfortunately we still have some communication gap at times. It so happened I understood something and left a portion of work waiting for input. Which was correct and not and the person didn’t know what I was waiting on.

Ahh… My intention is not to bring my W.O.R.K as topic of my blog but I want to vent out my lil frustration. I like to write elaborative mails but still Miss.C can creep in. I like to talk and talk but still Miss.C can pop up. Hence I decided to have discussions – be it longer or crisp until I make the person tell what is on my mind.

Hoping for a peaceful week at work !