Does love mean having total compatibility, always?

Love Compatabilty

Love Compatabilty

One of my friends and I were sitting in the last row of the bus while returning from office. We were definitely very good friends but never shared our personal matters. We just started with our usual conversation and ran through the topic of my interest in writing. She happened to share some messages that a guy was sending her. I knew they both were friends. The messages were very romantic and no wonder he is a good writer. I liked his poetry but I didn’t know how to react. Since she seemed to be positive I gave my normal response that her friend is a good writer or poet. Since then she started sharing about her friendship with that guy.

One day she simply said I wonder if he likes me the same way. I didn’t know what she meant by that, but I knew one thing, they liked each other well but did not express it yet.

And then she continued telling, “I went out against my principles for a dinner with him. We hardly spoke to each other. When I picked some topic, he did not make any comments or did not share his views but started with different topic. Somehow I felt he was indifferent towards me. At the end, he did not even ask if I need a drop though it was late in the night. He left me alone and made me feel in-secured.”

I am not the right one to judge as even now I know only side of the story. One thing I know they are still together.

The truth behind love vs compatibility in my words would be- no one said it would be easy, even when you try to step into your partners shoes, the decision which you make may not sound correct for your partner. But one good thing here, you need not have same answer or opinion always.  In reality, your mind can not be read by your partner like pre-written lyrics of love song, it involves loads of decision making. Also you both are NOT brought up under same roof. You have two different life stories having different characters and experiences, its fair if you lack compatibility to some extent.

In this world where men and women are competing equally, women are mostly left with tougher choices. (May be even men, in some cases.) So if partners have two different decisions for a situation, that is not a problem but there is a problem if you cannot find love between each other though you are not like minded.  Cribbing and criticising won’t help.  If you love your partner you will put extra efforts to understand. And if your partner loves you it will be recognized (at some point of time). Your problem doesn’t sound interesting to others as they already knew and have one. By the way, don’t use others brains to know your compatibility as your heart already knows it right.

 

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Everyone is special in their own way…

Recently I happened to check with people and browse over internet on different opinions about the statement; ‘Everyone is special in their own way’. Some people say; what makes you stand out in crowd is what makes you special. Some think, every person has a good virtue which makes him special. Few think being famous is what makes them special. Few state, it’s nothing to do with others opinion it all starts from ones thinking about own-self.

Well, I want to redefine the same statement in my own way – The moment you realize everyone around you is special in their own way is when you truly become special (to yourself).

Now that I truly know what makes me special I want to share with you all three Mantra’s to feel yourself special in this world. I happened to discover this, while talking to one of my grandfathers during my recent journey to home town.

He said Be Simple and Be Happy; one can be happy only when they do not compare themselves with others. But then how can one not compare with others?!? Well, do not Judge.

Here is a good & famous story, which I remember reading from Internet a long back. There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the
winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but
only one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. Moral: Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don’t judge life by one difficult season.

If you think being rich makes you feel special, I would say being rich is same as possessing bag full of gold but rusted coins; until you can help the needy and bring smile on their faces.

If you believe to be famous makes you special; yes it does but how much time you spend with your dear ones?

As the singer Barney sang one his songs..

Your’ re special you’ re the only
one you’ re the only one like you
There isn’t another one in the whole wide world
Who can do the things you do

And it’s up to you what you want others to think about how you are special to them.

You are special as your friends depend on your advice.

You are special because you believe in your dreams.

You are special because you are here today.

And folks, one can’t be compared with another. Your ideas, your life, your background can never with anyone else.

It was rightly said by a famous actress Demi Lovato ; Do not judge me, you know my name, not my story.”

Are you living your dream or living in dreams?

 “Follow your dream where ever it takes you to, as that’s the journey you would love to be part of.”-D.D – These words always ring in my ear when I think of dreams-coming-true-in-my-life.

Do we live all the dreams that we wish to?

At first, let me share my childhood dreams:

If someone asked me in my childhood, “what you want to become when you grow up?”, I used to say even without a pause; “A doctor”.  Well ‘m still Dr.D but only in dreams.

 I remember the situation when I held my mom’s hand tight and with tears rolling out from my eyes seeing an old lady in front of temple in tattered clothes and miserably lying on street. That day the coin that my mom gave me to offer to the God, I remember giving to that lady while going back to home from temple. That’s the day, I dreamt to see India with NO poverty.

My other dreams are, to read all the books that so far published in the world and to express in BOOKS all my views about this world and to the world.

My silly dream would be, to meet SRK one day. I know I will. 😉  To work from B-44 of Infy (crazy dream infact). To build 7 houses, each one in a different rainbow color to move from one to another whenever I get bored with that color. (Wild childhood dream;P and believe me not a fantasy at all!).

At times reality takes the shape of memories or dreams, in my case it’s listening to my father’s goodnight wishes before going to bed daily.And I miss him.

Well, don’t come into a wrong conclusion that I lived so far only in dreams. Here I go with the best moments of my life where I lived / live to the fullest: After 10 years staying away from home, I ‘m again living with mom in Bengaluru and ‘m loving it. The other dreams that I lived would be, when I got into flight for the first time in my life, while flying to China. When I cheered kids, during my recent visit to an orphanage. When one of my articles got published in The Hindu during my college days. When I topped thrice in my college, consecutively. When I received my first Salary in Infy. When I gave my first speech in Infy Toastmasters (after almost eight years I got onto stage that day.) When I received 4 prices in KTDM Club (on the same day), for indoors games that they conducted during my teens. When I got a mark more than my sis in tenth board. (This one is just to tease my sister who is damn good at studies and has great IQ. ) When I recently visited Stratford-Upon-Avon and called my mom to say- ‘Your lil D is at Shakespeare’s Birthplace mom’. When every time my niece asks me to sing a lullaby and I sing to help her sleep. Most of all, the wonderful people whom I met in life and with whom I share the joy of success and true happiness.

These are few of the best moments in my life which I treasure most. However small they are they mean a lot to me as those are the times I enjoyed/enjoy my life to the fullest and when I look back at them I know I was in lime light.

I know there are times when you enjoy your day to day life. But at times the truth bothers you and scares you being away from your dreams. The shades of your hope get darker and darker, right in front of you.  It makes you feel so alarmed that you end up living not even in dreams. Read my recent blog – ‘The ignored’ which states what if the ignored dreams could speak.

Few random questions to you: But how often do you get time to concentrate on your interests in life when you have to stay focus with work at your hand? What do you do, when you know you are bound to leave your dream as you are diverting yourself away from it? Would you still say YES, when you know you have to say NO to the present to live your dream in real? Do you take the pain of choking your dreams to death or would prefer to sacrifice everything possible just to enjoy living your dream? Above all, will you live in dreams to make others live theirs? I will let you answer these questions to yourself.

In my opinion; YOUR DREAMS WILL COME CHASING U, WHEN U LIVE THE LIFE THE WAY U WANT. – D.D