Life is a journey. We are like the riders of BIG BUS. If the person, who is waiting for your BUS is holding the right ticket (right attitude according to you), you may allow him to get in to your BUS (Your Life).But you cannot choose his stop. You have to let go him after some time, even if you don’t want to say Good bye.
Have you ever felt the pain while saying good bye to your dear ones and especially to your mom every time you leave from home after a vacation? Yes, I’m talking about the same pain which starts at heart and spreads till the tips of your fingers. This pain knocks you down emotionally. It hurts in such a way that it weakens whole body. Trust me, saying Good Bye when you don’t want to say, is the most helpless situation you can ever face in life. That moment we can only wish that; the world could remain stand still, so that we can never say good bye.
These are the few incidents when I felt very helpless and lifeless in my life:
When I was in 7th standard, my sister had to leave our town for her higher education. While my mom was packing her stuff, I happened to look at the cupboard which myself and my sis used to share; which then turned half empty. The thought of next day without my sister at home made me feel lifeless and then the first heart breaking bye. I was alone while going to bus stop and school. Still my life didn’t stop and it went on…!!! Even now when I think about that moment she left, I just wish to wipe the past and try to imagine we were together always.
The next blow in my life was; I was 14 years old when my parents said good bye and left me in hostel. The hostel building was huge and the rooms were dark and small. I had two of my friends who joined in hostel with me but nothing can be like being at home with parents. I still remember, looking down from second floor through the window of my room, I saw many girls of my age; few were happy giggling with their friends, few introducing themselves and knowing others and few were like me; looking at others and wondering; ‘what’s this new world away from home is all like!’.
Every time I need to leave from my home town after vacation, I feel as though I have a heavy stone at the place of my heart. I keep looking at my mom from every angle possible whishing that; the moment lasts forever. As the clock ticks every second, the pain of parting hits me much harder. I get into the train cursing that it has come on time while listening to the ‘Dos and Don’ts’ from my mom. I just can’t take away my eyes from her till I can’t see her waving hand anymore even after peeping from the running train widow. After that…. I just can’t fight back my tears anl can’t stop felling helpless…
Life greets you in different ways; introducing you to different people; the best buddy in your life to the person on road who smiles at you coincidentally.
Life offers you the best but it also grabs away the same very soon. May be because it feels jealous seeing you happy feel ther may be because it feels that; only you can’t have all the fun and happiness. Don’t you feel the same?
Surprisingly the same implies even with the lifeless things around us… Here I go, with small example. It’s my first onsite trip to China which offered me to experience many more first-time-experiences. First time I boarded a flight, first time I saw the cab driver, holding my name plate at the airport, first time I met and worked with foreigners, first time I cooked for myself on my own, first time I rented a house, first time I paid my electricity bill, first time I led a team, first time I experienced the panic seeing the fire in kitchen, first time I experienced loneliness for long hours staying alone at home, first time I got into metro, first time I experienced the strange pride while walking on Shangai streets, first time I experienced negative temperature and the list goes on… After five months staying in a house alone and coming back to India, at the last hour, all of a sudden I happened to stop by and looked around the house. I felt the walls dimmer than any other day and the house gloomy as though it’s sad that I’m leaving. As I looked outside from the wide window, I felt pang of pain in my stomach, that I ‘m leaving the house with which I shared my happiness, sorrows and which was with me observing, from my day one in China and protected me in many ways.
I just wonder, how ‘m I still alive even after undergoing this irresistible pain from parting many times. But now I realized, though the pain lasts forever; every time it attacks it also makes you stronger. After all, you have to be ready for the next blow.
Dedicated to all the people who made me laugh, smile, happy, good, proud, beautiful and especially to MY MOM… and of course to the places that I visited; which have been silently with me and danced according to the rhythm of my mood swings while accepting me as I am.
I wish the time rolls back and we all can relive our memories.