Are you living your dream or living in dreams?

 “Follow your dream where ever it takes you to, as that’s the journey you would love to be part of.”-D.D – These words always ring in my ear when I think of dreams-coming-true-in-my-life.

Do we live all the dreams that we wish to?

At first, let me share my childhood dreams:

If someone asked me in my childhood, “what you want to become when you grow up?”, I used to say even without a pause; “A doctor”.  Well ‘m still Dr.D but only in dreams.

 I remember the situation when I held my mom’s hand tight and with tears rolling out from my eyes seeing an old lady in front of temple in tattered clothes and miserably lying on street. That day the coin that my mom gave me to offer to the God, I remember giving to that lady while going back to home from temple. That’s the day, I dreamt to see India with NO poverty.

My other dreams are, to read all the books that so far published in the world and to express in BOOKS all my views about this world and to the world.

My silly dream would be, to meet SRK one day. I know I will.  To work from B-44 of Infy (crazy dream infact). To build 7 houses, each one in a different rainbow color to move from one to another whenever I get bored with that color. (Wild childhood dream;P and believe me not a fantasy at all!).

At times reality takes the shape of memories or dreams, in my case it’s listening to my father’s goodnight wishes before going to bed daily.And I miss him.

Well, don’t come into a wrong conclusion that I lived so far only in dreams. Here I go with the best moments of my life where I lived / live to the fullest: After 10 years staying away from home, I ‘m again living with mom in Bengaluru and ‘m loving it. The other dreams that I lived would be, when I got into flight for the first time in my life, while flying to China. When I cheered kids, during my recent visit to an orphanage. When one of my articles got published in The Hindu during my college days. When I topped thrice in my college, consecutively. When I received my first Salary in Infy. When I gave my first speech in Infy Toastmasters (after almost eight years I got onto stage that day.) When I received 4 prices in KTDM Club (on the same day), for indoors games that they conducted during my teens. When I got a mark more than my sis in tenth board. (This one is just to tease my sister who is damn good at studies and has great IQ. ) When I recently visited Stratford-Upon-Avon and called my mom to say- ‘Your lil D is at Shakespeare’s Birthplace mom’. When every time my niece asks me to sing a lullaby and I sing to help her sleep. Most of all, the wonderful people whom I met in life and with whom I share the joy of success and true happiness.

These are few of the best moments in my life which I treasure most. However small they are they mean a lot to me as those are the times I enjoyed/enjoy my life to the fullest and when I look back at them I know I was in lime light.

I know there are times when you enjoy your day to day life. But at times the truth bothers you and scares you being away from your dreams. The shades of your hope get darker and darker, right in front of you.  It makes you feel so alarmed that you end up living not even in dreams. Read my recent blog – ‘The ignored’ which states what if the ignored dreams could speak.

Few random questions to you: But how often do you get time to concentrate on your interests in life when you have to stay focus with work at your hand? What do you do, when you know you are bound to leave your dream as you are diverting yourself away from it? Would you still say YES, when you know you have to say NO to the present to live your dream in real? Do you take the pain of choking your dreams to death or would prefer to sacrifice everything possible just to enjoy living your dream? Above all, will you live in dreams to make others live theirs? I will let you answer these questions to yourself.

In my opinion; YOUR DREAMS WILL COME CHASING U, WHEN U LIVE THE LIFE THE WAY U WANT. – D.D

 

About

About.

 

Kindness is my Religion

I would like to share the lighter moments of my visit to China which is the reason to start this blog.
My Alarm didn’t wake me up. My morning meeting time urged me to start ASAP. I got ready, grabbed an apple from fridge with laptop in my back pack, rushed to office. I was completely engrossed in my work until I felt very hungry at one in the noon. Then I have realized that I forgot to get my lunch box which I used to pack daily in the morning after cooking food.

I went for lunch with one of my Chinese Teammates (Ivy). Ivy is a very kind girl, always with smile on her face. We both walked to the food court which was very much nearby. We joined the queue to collect the food. I ordered spinach and rice and Ivy had chosen pork and rice. After paying the bill I took a set of chop sticks for Ivy and a spoon for me. The spoon is very wide, as it is meant to have soup. (I didn’t find any other spoons too.) We sat on the table to have food.

The ambience reminded me of B’lore Infy food courts. When I looked around, I felt nostalgic. Slowly we got into some conversation. I was not able to pay proper attention to her words as I was trying hard to place the spinach on the spoon to have a bite. My appetite was increasing so was my impatience. Ivy observed it and suggested me different ways to have it easier, but still I faced some difficulty in having the lengthy spinach leaves. Ivy took the spoon and tried to show me the easy way but even she failed as the sauce added to the spinach was sticky. She helped me with her chop sticks and placed the spinach on my big spoon and asked me to have.

Let me stop the above narration for a while and take you back to my school days. I’m from an orthodox family and a vegetarian. I was taught at home, that having non veg is against our religious norms and many other things. (I’m emphasizing non veg as my next eg is based on it …;)) This had not only frightened me to see the uncooked meat but also I started to dislike. I never asked or gave thought about it. One day when I was in 6th standard, all our class girls sat in the ground to have lunch. As usual we shared our food with one another. Unknowingly I had non veg from my friend’s box. The moment I got to know that I had non veg I got up and ran to the class room crying. I didn’t know whom I need to blame — myself, my friend or my religious norms??? Bewildered, panicked, disheartened I reached my home.

After I reached home, my mom asked to give my Tiffin box to put it along with vessels to be washed. The moment she took the box from my hand she asked me the reason for not having food. I was frozen with fear and guilt and I couldn’t answer her words other than asking her ‘What punishment would God give if I have non veg food?’ with tears in my eyes. My mom understood the situation happened at school and took me close and held me in her hands. I was even much confused as I expected her to ask me to take shower first, scold me or look down upon me (none of which she did). With a smile on face mom said, “My Love, God will not punish you. He’s is a very kind hearted person and understands His children well. Don’t worry and refresh now. I hope you didn’t have your lunch properly I will prepare nice dosas for you”.
I felt happy as my mom assured me that God will not punish me. At the same time I was confused, as I very well remember my mom told me once, “Having meat is against our religious norms and God will punish those who disobey these norms.”

When I saw Ivy placing the lengthy spinach with her chop sticks, I looked at her, kindness in her eyes, friendly look on her face and more than anything the innocence in her; who has no idea about my religious norms has left me with guilty feeling. With pure heart and affection she was waiting for my acceptance which really made me feel ashamed to think ‘I’m I supposed to have or shall I deny???’ For that moment I completely ignored all the thoughts running in my mind and accepted the bite of spinach that was dropped on to my spoon from Ivy’s chop sticks.

It is like one among the many situations where in we often get confused to choose in between religious/family norms and humanity/kindness? The best way to choose is at times giving up our values for the sake of godliness or goodness and still being happy and content seeing the happiness in other person’s eyes.

The example I came up with was very small but the intensity of discrimination varies from sharing food to the impact of choosing a life partner if he/ she belongs to other religion as afraid of elder’s rejection. When the entire world is stepping towards globalization, it was sad to note that there are people in and around us who are still superstitious (even if not required). I have nothing to say other than showing sympathy for such people. As rightly said one can’t choose their family and background.
Children are very tender and will obey to their elders’ words. Just recollect – have you not ate food with fear when your mom said , ‘If you don’t eat food, the witch will take you away?’ Can the same kind of methods be implied to teach children about religion?
We have every right to follow our religious policies but at the cost of others’ happiness?
Give it a thought…

I have decided from my experiences that I will follow my religion but also I will take care not to hurt others’ feelings… If at all I compromise I will gain pleasure looking at the happiness in the eyes of the other person.
I belong to the religion called Kindness and you?
-D.D

P.S – My intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. My apologies in case I had…

Also the blog is shared at: http://readdmind.blogspot.com

 

Good-bye leaves everyone with good amount of pain..

Life is a journey. We are like the riders of BIG BUS. If the person, who is waiting for your BUS is holding the right ticket (right attitude according to you), you may allow him to get in to your BUS (Your Life).But you cannot choose his stop. You have to let go him after some time, even if you don’t want to say Good bye.

Have you ever felt the pain while saying good bye to your dear ones and especially to your mom every time you leave from home after a vacation? Yes, I’m talking about the same pain which starts at heart and spreads till the tips of your fingers. This pain knocks you down emotionally. It hurts in such a way that it weakens whole body. Trust me, saying Good Bye when you don’t want to say, is the most helpless situation you can ever face in life. That moment we can only wish that; the world could remain stand still, so that we can never say good bye.

These are the few incidents when I felt very helpless and lifeless in my life:

When I was in 7th standard, my sister had to leave our town for her higher education. While my mom was packing her stuff, I happened to look at the cupboard which myself and my sis used to share; which then turned half empty. The thought of next day without my sister at home made me feel lifeless and then the first heart breaking bye. I was alone while going to bus stop and school. Still my life didn’t stop and it went on…!!! Even now when I think about that moment she left, I just wish to wipe the past and try to imagine we were together always.

The next blow in my life was; I was 14 years old when my parents said good bye and left me in hostel. The hostel building was huge and the rooms were dark and small. I had two of my friends who joined in hostel with me but nothing can be like being at home with parents. I still remember, looking down from second floor through the window of my room, I saw many girls of my age; few were happy giggling with their friends, few introducing themselves and knowing others and few were like me; looking at others and wondering; ‘what’s this new world away from home is all like!’.

Every time I need to leave from my home town after vacation, I feel as though I have a heavy stone at the place of my heart. I keep looking at my mom from every angle possible whishing that; the moment lasts forever. As the clock ticks every second, the pain of parting hits me much harder. I get into the train cursing that it has come on time while listening to the ‘Dos and Don’ts’ from my mom. I just can’t take away my eyes from her till I can’t see her waving hand anymore even after peeping from the running train widow. After that…. I just can’t fight back my tears anl can’t stop felling helpless…

Life greets you in different ways; introducing you to different people; the best buddy in your life to the person on road who smiles at you coincidentally.

Life offers you the best but it also grabs away the same very soon. May be because it feels jealous seeing you happy feel ther may be because it feels that; only you can’t have all the fun and happiness. Don’t you feel the same?

Surprisingly the same implies even with the lifeless things around us… Here I go, with small example. It’s my first onsite trip to China which offered me to experience many more first-time-experiences. First time I boarded a flight, first time I saw the cab driver, holding my name plate at the airport, first time I met and worked with foreigners, first time I cooked for myself on my own, first time I rented a house, first time I paid my electricity bill, first time I led a team, first time I experienced the panic seeing the fire in kitchen, first time I experienced loneliness for long hours staying alone at home, first time I got into metro, first time I experienced the strange pride while walking on Shangai streets, first time I experienced negative temperature and the list goes on… After five months staying in a house alone and coming back to India, at the last hour, all of a sudden I happened to stop by and looked around the house. I felt the walls dimmer than any other day and the house gloomy as though it’s sad that I’m leaving. As I looked outside from the wide window, I felt pang of pain in my stomach, that I ‘m leaving the house with which I shared my happiness, sorrows and which was with me observing, from my day one in China and protected me in many ways.

I just wonder, how ‘m I still alive even after undergoing this irresistible pain from parting many times. But now I realized, though the pain lasts forever; every time it attacks it also makes you stronger. After all, you have to be ready for the next blow.

Dedicated to all the people who made me laugh, smile, happy, good, proud, beautiful and especially to MY MOM… and of course to the places that I visited; which have been silently with me and danced according to the rhythm of my mood swings while accepting me as I am.

I wish the time rolls back and we all can relive our memories.
- D.D

 

My experiences with Strangers!

When you step out of your house, or look around while walking on roads, if you are in shop or in a bus, even for that matter if you are flying in a plane and of course right now, what’s something common apart from you?
There is at least a stranger; a person whom u donno at all – around you.
Isn’t it strange at times how we bump into someone whom we donno at all. A person whom we thought a stranger turns into a savior and then into a friend.

I would like to share one such indecent that happened to me. Its 7:30 A.M when I started to office. It’s a quiet morning, people going for morning walk, ladies chit chatting just after sending their kids to school and I was walking towards bus stop. Then I see suddenly three dogs running towards me which were till then quietly laying on their back. Immediately I shouted and gripped one of the ladies hands, I closed my eyes completely and said ‘m scared of dogs, please help me. I opened my eyes after a while to realize those dogs where running towards a dog which I didn’t observe before and it was behind me. Since then the lady always smiles looking at me and we exchange some words now and then.
At times we meet strangers who are just way too much annoying.

To buttress my point, let me share with you all another incident. One day I was going in a train to Chennai from Bangalore for an official purpose. Knowing that right from Day 1 it’s going to be hectic, I was trying hard to catch up with some sleep. The moment I dozed off, lady beside me started poking with her finger on my shoulder. When I opened my eyes, the lady almost kept her face into mine and asked –‘Just keep an eye on my bag’, as she had to wash her hands after having breakfast’ How annoying K
Had it ever happen to you that you had to trust a stranger, in spite of remembering; “Mom says – Not to talk with strangers”?

It was April afternoon; when I reached UK, a cab driver in Birmingham picked me at airport; who was very polite and nice talking. He drove me to my hotel and helped me with my luggage till doorsteps of the hotel. To my dismay, the hotel was closed that time. Luckily I had the contact number of the hotel person, when I called them up; they apologized for the inconvenience and informed that it would be open after an hour. I called up my teammates but they didn’t pick up my call since they were in meeting. I didn’t know what to do. I was shivering with cold, its drizzling and more over no shelter under which I can wait and I was carrying 30 kgs of luggage.

I returned the cell to the cab driver. He understood the situation and said, “Young lady, I can’t leave you at door steps. Please get into my taxi, I will be honored to take you for first ride in Cheltenham.” I looked into his eyes and agreed readily. He showed me the important places and after a while took me to his house. He opened the car door and asked me come in and I denied. Next moment I kept hands on my ears, closed my eyes and stopped breathing and started yelling – please take away these dogs frm me. I ‘m scared of dogs. Please Please.” After 2 minutes, he took away the dogs forcefully from me and locked them in the backyard. This time, his wife came and asked me to come in. We had a general talk for 15 minutes and then the cab driver took me back to the hotel. I was moved by his kindness but all I could say was ‘Thank You’ and for which he replied, ‘I’m Simon. You can call me Grand Pa if you see me around’. I was so pleased with Old man’s attitude towards a stranger and thought;
In this world we shuffle from place to place meeting heaps of people, may be it depends on our luck to find a special friend in a stranger but never forget even your attitude counts.
“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way. “

Oxymoron that I also believe in, Strangers always need not be ppl whom you donno.

 

The Ignored

 I woke up at eight in the morning just to realize ‘m left with 25 minutes to catch my morning bus to office. Wondering why my mom didn’t wake me up, I called her and there was no reply. Thinking that she hasn’t returned from morning walk I got ready quickly and started to office.

While closing the gate, hearing to the grandpa’s stick I turned sideways to wish him and I felt sad as his daily toothless smile was missing and he had not even wished me. I didn’t know if I was ignored or he really didn’t notice. Thinking about what could be the reason; I passed by few houses and shops and entered into the long lane next to ours. This very long stretch of road leads me to my bus stop. Usually my day starts with dogs chasing me on road and sometimes the horning vehicles. Surprisingly that day dogs and horns were not heard. Streetlights which were turned on that day before have still not rested. The red glow on thier face looks more due to the embracement as its radiance is buried by the bright morning Sun. The road which was carefully used by the pedestrians like me was lying uncovered stretching up to the main road. I just checked my watch to confirm it’s not too early to start my day and I realized I have to hurry up.

 At last, journey to the bus stop ended but never expected my real journey towards life was yet to begin. At that moment my mobile beeped ‘Not coming to office –Deepa’. Usually, while waiting for office bus I also wait for one my friends(Deepa) to join me. Before I could reply screen went off; showing Low Battery Warning. I waited for some time. The main roads which usually are very busy seemed to be deserted except for a few vehicles which flashed now and then. Not knowing if I really missed my morning bus I headed towards the Auto Stand. To my relief I saw two autos. While I was nearing the auto stand, an Auto left ignoring my wailing to stop. I felt very upset after I noticed that there was no driver in another auto. Cursing my stars I started walking further.

The roads, the trees, the buildings, the traffic and the street lights which daily witness my smile, my intolerance, my anxiety, my temper and my silence seemed so indifferent and different. As I took every step I felt everything was new and distinct; I started feeling that the Earth swallowed the surroundings from bus stop till office. I saw few strangers around, I approached a couple to know where I ‘m; before I could ask them, they ignored me as though ‘m an unseen spirit, they went on talking with each other. I didn’t know which direction to choose. So I stood still looking all around. I decided to step back to find my old path. I thanked God I got an idea where to go next. But Alas! I was stuck in reverse. I didn’t find my way back home as well.

The world around still looked very familiar, so I had to tell myself –‘‘m fine but just lost my way’ and started moving ahead. I saw trees lined up in front of me, protecting me from bright scorching Sun. I started feeling secured. I heard for first time after an hour someone calling me; I was pleased to listen to that voice.

She began the conversation asking me “Are you alright?”

After a long pause I reckoned –“I’m just fine.”

“So where are you heading to?” She asked.

 I explained my story to her and asked if she can help me. For which she answered; “For sure I will be with you, till you find someone or something which keeps you occupied.” So I just started explaining about myself and after a while I realized I never asked who she was. And when I did she replied with smirk on her face. “You will get to know soon.”

 I enjoyed her company but my day seemed gloomier after I started talking with her. I was distracted and forgot what ‘m looking for. We walked for hours together and it became afternoon. I was tired and hungry. I plucked some Mangoes from trees and filled my stomach. When I offered Mangoes to her she replied “I ‘m already full.” These words of her irritated me a bit and I decided to get rid of her. I said I ‘m fine to find my own way and thanked her for accompanying. Still she denied leaving me until I found someone. I sat under tree and started reading the book I carried with me. I didn’t realize when she left me and at that time I didn’t know who she was!

 She was sweet at the beginning, cunning at times, distractive always who was she!?!

I enjoyed afternoon breeze while reading book. And after a while I resumed my journey. As time passed by, slowly the Sun went down. The evening sky seemed promising in guiding me back to my home. I was overjoyed to see the sun-set; my busy schedule hardly allows me to step out of my building during evenings. I only get chance to see the hot blazing Sun in the morning and the soothing Moon in the evenings. I was sitting on a rock at the edge of cliff watching the Sun Set. The warmth and glow of orange rays out of the Sun were extended all around me. They made me feel safe and invigorated my energy. Yes! Even the Sun went missing after some time as though the Dragon in the form of night gulped it down.

With that I was left alone on the rock, in the darkness thinking what’s next? Meanwhile a butterfly came and sat on my knee I showed it my fingers and welcomed it to share my evening with it. In no time I was infatuated and started running after it as it took me. And we took turns to play while the Moon Beam guided us. We had great fun and we came back to the rock to take rest where we met before. This time when we looked at sky it was brightened with Moon and Stars like spot lights just focusing on two of us. I was so mesmerized looking at the beauty of sky and I wished that moment remains forever. Mean while not sure when but my Butterfly gone missing. I went into the woods, searched everywhere I could but I still didn’t find the butterfly. I felt neglected once again, and all of sudden I heard an unbearable noise and everything around vanished like a dream.

Then I woke up shouting… Please come back. I don’t want to miss you…I don’t want to be ignored anymore… It was an unnatural dream for me. I went silent whole day thinking about the dream.

 Every time I thought, it reminded me of Grandpa who didn’t care to smile back, the Street lights which were glowing but were just as good as stones in the morning light, auto driver who left just ignoring me, how I ended up meeting a girl whom I then realized was LONELINESS which denied to leave me till I left it, the fleeting happiness that Sun Set left with me and the infatuation towards a colorful butterfly (can be read as material things) which finally made me hit the reality.

All I could think was being ignored is fine, if you are ready to learn something good out of it…!

In my opinion, never ignore your dreams; its same as ignoring yourself. No one is responsible to fulfill your dreams except you. Follow your dreams and accept where ever they take you to. –D.D